bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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