4 words: hood of his car
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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