We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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