my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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