he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
