Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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