We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
