her vagine was all disorganized.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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