yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
