this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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