I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
He kissed a someone with a penis
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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