oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize