Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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