do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize