I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
