used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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