My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
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