i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
