There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
