I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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