would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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