i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
