I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
