He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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