Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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