normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
