I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
