I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
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Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
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Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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