im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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