Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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