Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
