no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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