high people should be assigned attendants
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
