I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize