well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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