Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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