found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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