Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
