i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
