just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
My legs feel like baby dolphins
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
