do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
