Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
