CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Who died my cat blue again?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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