the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
