oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
