what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
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