big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
