Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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