Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
