Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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