sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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