how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Enjoy the penises
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
