Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize