I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
