I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
