we made out on top of his cat.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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