Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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