Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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