the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
