I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
