This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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