Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
