Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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