with your own penis?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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